I’ve been writing my personal history. I’ve created a two-page spread of pictures of me from birth to 50 years old. I look at me through the years and think about the experiences that shaped and molded me.
Last week I had the opportunity to hold my 6-day-old grandson. He is amazing! He is perfect! I love him! Nothing he could do would change how I see him. He can cry. He can poop on me. He can smile at me. He can sleep for hours. In fact, he did. And I just held him and stared. He is “doing baby life” perfectly.
At what point of our lives do we start doubting our ability to “do life perfectly?” At what point do we start allowing other people’s comments about how we are “doing life” influence how we think about ourselves?
We start to label. Even babies in the womb.
Baby still in utero 7 days after his due date. He’s such a stubborn little guy.
Three-month-old looking all around. She’s so nosey.
Toddler asking “why” 376 times a day. He’s so annoying.
Child crying after a skinned knee. She’s such a crybaby.
“C” student. You’re so stupid.
Teenager gets a speeding ticket. You’re so reckless.
You get the idea. Couldn’t it have just as easily been-
He’s so content.
She’s so observant.
He’s so curious.
She’s so good at expressing her feelings.
He has a creative mind.
Or in the case of the speeding ticket, why does it have to mean anything about the teenager. Sometimes it just happens.
Baby in utero, doing life perfectly. Toddler, doing life perfectly. Teenager, doing life perfectly.
Perfect doesn’t mean no mistakes. All those ups and downs and twists and turns make for a perfectly beautiful life. The purpose of human life is to LIVE and to LEARN. The purpose of human life is NOT to never “mess up.”
At some point we start looking for external validation and start valuing other’s opinions over our own. Even if those opinions are negative and false. Then we begin to dance with self-contempt. Living up to those labels and creating more evidence that make them seem true.
We forget we are worthy.
Look into the eyes of a baby and let it remind you that you were worthy then and you are worthy now. Five years of living, fifteen years of living, fifty years of living didn’t change that truth.
And don’t you forget it!
