Photo by Bekir Donmez on Unsplash
Goal Setting is my jam.
There have been years when I’ve set goals for my health, family, finances, spirituality, relationships, and personal growth. Which in the end meant I dabbled in all of them but didn’t really achieve success in any of them.
When we think about a balanced life, oftentimes we think we are a well-rounded person. But sometimes it just means we are spread too thin.
This year I learned about a concept called constraint. It’s been hard to practice it. I chose one area of my life to create a result. I wanted to write my personal history. As a side note, as I’ve been going through old papers and pictures I discovered “writing my personal history” has been one of my goals for over 10 years. Well, not this time. This time I am practicing constraint. It is my main focus. I set a goal to complete it within six months and I’m on track. But that’s only because I’ve been willing to feel restricted and stifled and confined as I’ve stayed focused on my one goal, as I’ve stuck with my plan, and not allowed my brain to get overwhelmed by other possibilities. Which it has so wanted to do. When the fun wears off, the excitement of new areas of focus creep in. For me the planning is the fun part. The execution can cause me to feel weighed down and then I just want to go into planning mode on a new project and convince myself that it’s okay to put the first project on hold a little longer.
I have evidence that constraint works. I made a six-year plan to get my bachelor’s degree and I did it. Those years my sole goal was to complete the classes required to keep me on track. Everything else went on the back burner. I also made a plan to run a ½ marathon. I followed my training schedule so that when race day came I’d be ready and I was.
I have lots of evidence for when I haven’t practiced constraint too. Those old goal lists prove it. I haven’t made my kids their t-shirt quilts from high school events (and you know that they have been out of high school a LONG time since I have grandchildren). I haven’t written a book (but hang on because that is next on my list!) I haven’t built up my retirement fund to where it needs to be.
It doesn’t matter if we have evidence from our past to prove or disprove. What matters is what we want to do now.
What are your top five priorities? Then examine your 24 hours to see if you are spending your time within those priorities. Sometimes we have to choose one of our priorities over another. For example, if my top two priorities are my family and a clean house, I might have to practice constraint by loving on my family while the dirty house gets put on the back burner. Or I may practice constraint by understanding that teaching my family about cleanliness and working along side them is loving on my family. If my top two priorities are my family and serving others, I may need to realize that washing loads of laundry, cooking meals, driving kids places, etc is loving on my family and serving others too.
You might discover that balance comes from focusing on one thing at a time instead of many things at a time.
