Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash
This week I visited several young women from church and when asked how they were doing they said, “I’m bored.”
It seems like the things that used to bring them pleasure-reading, watching shows, laying around doing nothing-have lost their appeal.
We may think Covid19 plays a role in boredom-on a whole we are “stuck” at home more with less options. But Covid19 is a circumstance. And circumstances don’t cause boredom. Our thoughts do. And the thoughts that create the feeling of boredom have been around for ages.
There’s nothing to do.
I’m sick of doing the same old thing.
This task is tedious.
Nothing sounds fun.
It’s these thoughts that create the feeling of boredom.
When I was a teenager, telling my parents that I was bored brought the response, “Oh good! You’re bored. Well, let me give you a list of about 20 chores that will cure your boredom!”
Boredom doesn’t need to be cured. It isn’t a problem.
If our children are bored, we want to give them a list of chores or fun activities to relieve the feeling ASAP.
What if boredom is a necessary feeling?
Slavoj Zizek said, “I think boredom is the beginning of every authentic act. Boredom opens up the space for new engagements. Without boredom, no creativity. If you are not bored, you just stupidly enjoy the situation in which you are.”
When we hear our children say, “I’m bored” it is like a trigger for our thoughts and feelings:
They shouldn’t be bored. (Annoyance)
I’ve got a million things to do. How can you be bored? (Anger)
It must be nice. (Jealous)
What if we believed that boredom is a part of life? What if we believed that boredom is the steeping stone to creativity? Would we be more willing to allow it to be there? To not be resistant to our teens experiencing it?
Think about how boredom feels in your body. This is how it feels for me:
My arms feel really heavy.
My body feels slumpy-like a bean bag chair.
My head feels like an empty black hole.
It may feel a little uncomfortable. But there is no danger in feeling heavy arms, a slumpy body, and a black hole for a brain for a little while.
So let your teens feel bored. Don’t try to fix it. As they learn to allow boredom in their bodies, they learn to relax which opens up the mind space for creativity.
