We are too hard on ourselves!
So much time is spent on berating ourselves for what we should or shouldn’t have done.
Give yourself some grace.
Grace—courteous goodwill
Goodwill—friendly, helpful, or cooperative feelings
This life is a journey not a sprint. We are going to mess up. We are going to show up as less than we hoped. That’s okay. It’s NORMAL!
It’s January 31. I’m looking at the goals I set for this year. I’m noticing the ones I didn’t accomplish. Where I fell short. Do I pat myself on the back for all the things I did accomplish—on my goal list or not? Only if I’m being conscious about it. Otherwise, I just feel bad about the things I didn’t accomplish. I think about how I let myself down and how I didn’t live in integrity with myself.
What’s the benefit of the negative thinking? Absolutely nothing. It doesn’t inspire us to want to be better. It just keeps us on the bottom of proverbial dung heap. Throwing on more and more negativity.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
The way it’s going to change is by making a conscious decision to stop.
When you hear the beginnings of negative self-talk, have a word you can go to.
Nope.
Not today.
Stop.
It seems simple, but you’ve got to try it before you can discount it.
Another tip is to just accept what you did or didn’t do. Acknowledge you would like to be different next time and recognize it as a learning opportunity.
I should have been more sympathetic to my husband.
I wasn’t very sympathetic and that’s okay.
I can’t believe I forgot that meeting.
I am human and sometimes I forget.
I overspent again. What an idiot!
I overspent. Let me take a look at my purchases and see what happened.
We use the information we gather and try to do better next time. Heaping on the name calling and bullying isn’t going to help.
Another goodwill option is to replace the negative self-talk with positive self-talk.
I ate like crap yesterday.
I ate purposefully the five days previous.
I wish I had a degree.
Life has taught me a lot.
Why do I always have to learn things the hard way?
The “hard way” is a pretty good teacher.
Grace is available to you when you (1) notice the negative self-talk and think “stop” (2) accept that you are human and you are going to be great sometimes and not so great other times (3) focus on the positive.
