Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash
I never even differentiated confidence from self-confidence until the last few months. I associated the word confidence with mastering a skill and I thought that’s where self-confidence comes from too.
But I love this definition from dictionary.com:
To feel self-confidence we don’t have to have the skill mastered. We just need to trust in ourselves to move forward. We don’t believe it has to be perfect the first time we try something; we trust that we will keep trying and be willing to handle all the feelings that come with not mastering it right away.
I do believe that I trust my abilities, my qualities, and my judgments and take action from that place making good forward strides.
But I still wasn’t seeing myself as self-confident. I felt similar to an overweight girl who lost weight and is trim now but still thinks of herself as the fat girl. I felt like I was living the definition of self-confidence but not believing I had claim to it.
I was thinking that 80% self-confidence and 20% humility looks prettier than 100% self-confidence. I really think I was saving that 20% not only so I could give credit to feeling lucky and/or blessed, but that I was also using the 20% as a scapegoat to blame unlucky and/or cursed.
I finally came to the conclusion that I had an image of what self-confidence should look like. And that image looked like “HELLO WORLD! HERE I COME!” But I came to the realization that self-confidence for me looks like “I believe in myself.” I don’t need my self-confidence to be loud and proud; for me, it’s a peaceful assurance.
